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SQL Jokes and Data Jokes

Yes, you have heard and seen correctly. Today, I will share with you a bunch of SQL Jokes & Data Jokes. I hope that it will lighten up your mood. Enjoy the jokes and if you have got some interesting SQL jokes or data jokes, then do share with us.

1. What do a shark and a database have in common? 
They both have megabytes

2. Why did IKEA fire all their DBAs?
Because they kept on dropping tables!

3. Programmer: We won’t be able to deliver our product in time because of some issue with MySQL.
Manager: What???…..Then use somebody else’s SQL, but I want the product in time.

4. When you hear this: Yesterday it worked 🙂

5. Non-Technical Client: I think we should build an SQL database
Programmer: UH-OH, THINKING….Does he understand what he said OR is it something he saw in a trade magazine ad
What color do you want that database
Non-Technical Client: hmmmmm, I think dark blue would be best

6. SQL Table walks to a psychiatrist dr. Index
Table: “Doctor, I have a problem”
Dr: “What kind of problem?”
Table: “I’m a mess. I have things all over the place, I always look for my stuff”
Dr. “No problem. I will get you in order”.

7. A couple of relational databases walked into a NoSQL bar.
They left because they couldn’t find a table!

    8. Why are sailors terrible DBAs?
    They try to make all of the data float.

    9. Why couldn’t the DBA have any children?
    He was still on SQL 2000, and couldn’t even recurse about the fact that his data had children, but he couldn’t navigate the parent-child relationship!

    10. Why do you never ask SQL people to help you move your furniture? 
    They sometimes drop the tables 

    11. Why did the DBA leave her wife?
    She found out it was a one-to-many relationship.

    12. Why was the DBA on the space station so frustrated?
    They kept dropping tables but they wouldn’t go anywhere!

    13. The execution plan to T-SQL query is like alter-ego to self.

    14. What does the table say to a trigger: “Hey, stop it, I’m full”?

    15. BIT says to itself: “When I grow up, I want to be BLOB”.

    16. There are two types of DBAs:
    1) DBAs that do backups
    2) DBAs that will do backups

    These jokes and puns are collected from different sources on the internet, the reference is mentioned below.